Pregnancy Depression in Fathers: My Story & What Every Dad Needs to Know

What Is Pregnancy Depression in Fathers?

While maternal depression during and after pregnancy is widely discussed, paternal prenatal and postpartum depression often goes unrecognized. But it’s very real—impacting up to 10% of fathers globally, with even higher rates in younger, low-income, or unsupported men.

Fathers, especially those in high-conflict co-parenting situations or facing unexpected pregnancies, can feel overwhelmed, anxious, and emotionally isolated.

My First Encounter with Paternal Depression at 20

I was 20 years old when I learned my ex was pregnant. I was in college, working at McDonald's, and completely unprepared—financially, emotionally, and spiritually.

The Emotional Spiral

I always dreamed of becoming a father after marriage, in a loving home with a stable income. This wasn’t it. I didn’t want to be in that relationship, but my options felt binary:

Be a father or be a deadbeat.

That summer, I drank heavily. I felt hopeless. I believed everyone was laughing at me—because I was laughing at myself.

Why Fathers Experience Depression During Pregnancy

Pregnancy depression in men often stems from:

• Financial strain

• Unplanned pregnancies

• Lack of emotional support

• Relationship tension or co-parenting conflict

• Fear of inadequacy or fatherhood failure

• Cultural pressure to “stay strong” and silent

Unlike women, men are less likely to seek help. Many self-medicate with alcohol, shut down emotionally, or overwork themselves to avoid dealing with the pressure.

How to Cope with Pregnancy Depression as a Father

1. Acknowledge It’s Real

Depression doesn’t make you weak—it makes you human. The first step is recognizing your struggle is valid.

2. Talk to Someone You Trust

Whether it’s a therapist, coach, or mentor—speaking up lifts the weight. I didn’t heal until I opened up.

3. Stay Present with Purpose

Even when it’s hard, focus on being consistent, not perfect. Your presence is powerful—even in pain.

4. Don’t Numb It

Drinking, zoning out, or pretending it’s fine only delays healing. Choose progress over performance.

5. Get Professional Help

Mental health support for fathers is growing. Therapists, fatherhood groups, and parenting coaches can help you process the stress in a safe way.

 Mental Health Resources for Expectant Fathers

• Postpartum Support International (PSI) – For Fathershttps://postpartum.net/get-help/help-for-dadsHelp, forums, and dad-specific resources.

• Therapy for Black Men

  https://therapyforblackmen.orgDirectory of therapists with cultural competence.

• National Parent Helpline1-855-4A-PARENT (1-855-427-2736)Emotional support and parenting guidance.

• Co-Parenting Apps to Reduce Conflict

  OurFamilyWizard, Talking Parents, AppClose

Final Thoughts: You’re Not Alone in This

If you're a father experiencing depression during your partner’s pregnancy—or even after—it doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you're facing real pressure with very real emotions.

Your kids don’t need a perfect father.

They need a present one.

And you deserve peace in the process of becoming the dad they need.

If this resonated with you, share this post or leave a comment. Let’s break the silence around pregnancy depression in men and build a stronger future for fathers everywhere.